Beyond weak, she was now spelling it out for him, like a mother – holding the small fat hand of her first born, pushing the stubborn fingers around, as they clutched a pencil to shape the letters of his own name.
How many times had she said it now? Could she count how many times she had laughed it, asked it, stuttered and moaned it and even once – in the vacancy of quiet hours – called for it, loudly across an ocean of silence.
When it gets late, we watch Cops on TV, once all the rest have made their way to bed. Then you make cheese on toast, and I make tea – we feel inclined to sit up late, instead – and though our conversation is quite plain, you’ll show me something funny on your phone, and when we laugh our ribs vibrate with pain, as though at something we should have outgrown. At three or four o’clock we start to shrink; my tired mind begins to wonder whether you’ll think about us sitting here, in sync, when you and I no longer live together. For me, it’s that I’ll miss, though it seems trite – when we watch Cops together late at night.