In this half of my brain
I am
calm
serious
rational
emotionally responsible
rooted
in fact and
circumstance and
though there is also some sobering and permeating
disgust which creeps into my thoughts and eradicates my curiosity
I am content
I have not wondered
I have not wandered
but
the draught seeps through the cracks
under the door to the other half
I am trying to keep the door shut
as I lean with my back firmly
against it
but
the vibration from the other side
is tickling up my legs and
thundering through
barreling against my ribs
like pebbles kicked
through a drainpipe
I am full and empty
all at once
my insides fall away
I refill.
The other half is desire
thick and sweet
syrup
but also venom
It stops up the flow
of my life, and I am driven
by images
and want to knock down, and
push up the stairs
I lift fruit to my mouth and
suck the vinegar of rot
between my teeth
I laughed at the obvious daggers in men’s smiles
hubris smeared across my body like tar
desire is a false key
that opens nothing
cut my throat, why don’t you
tell me to listen, and I will
bite off your tongue
