In this half of my brain

I am
emotionally responsible
in fact and
circumstance and

though there is also some sobering and permeating
disgust which creeps into my thoughts and eradicates my curiosity

I am content
I have not wondered
I have not wandered


the draught seeps through the cracks
under the door to the other half

I am trying to keep the door shut
as I lean with my back firmly
against it


the vibration from the other side
is tickling up my legs and
thundering through
barreling against my ribs

like pebbles kicked
through a drainpipe

I am full and empty
all at once
my insides fall away
I refill.

The other half is desire
thick and sweet
but also venom

It stops up the flow
of my life, and I am driven
by images
and want to knock down, and
push up the stairs

I lift fruit to my mouth and
suck the vinegar of rot
between my teeth

I laughed at the obvious daggers in men’s smiles
hubris smeared across my body like tar
desire is a false key
that opens nothing
cut my throat, why don’t you


tell me to listen, and I will
bite off your tongue


Author: ataraxicat

I am a 27-year-old Literature graduate and school teacher, based in the UK. I enjoy writing in my spare time. All characters and events are fictitious, probably mostly.

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